6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
People in love make me want to vomit
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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