i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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