I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
as a side note pls kill me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
