Umm I'm too high to move.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
