My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
