I wish I could punch you in the face.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Randomize
