Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
