the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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