she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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