I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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