Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
we're so committed to being not committed
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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