There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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