Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
