people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
