Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
