you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
