we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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