i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
