What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
