Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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