dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
