Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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