3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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