Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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