she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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