I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
