You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
