I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
