is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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