Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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