you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
