We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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