Tell her she can't have a vagina
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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