do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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