i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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