from now on my penis is your penis
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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