I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
