I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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