so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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