Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
