what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
