here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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