you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The chlamydia really affected his face.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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