Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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