so explain again why im purple
no
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
