We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
