Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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