therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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