My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
