You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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