I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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