i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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